


Don’t Stop Believin’

by mclmcl



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Coming Out, Daddy Issues, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Family Issues, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, how do i tag i’ll do this better as i keep going, kinda maybe idk yet, trains man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-03 21:14:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13349652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mclmcl/pseuds/mclmcl
Summary: after a sour meeting, two are forced into the same sleep carriage on an overnight train. dan is in a hurry and phil is cheap, both are high on coffee and neither of them sleep. so when an entire train is asleep what else is there to do but talk?





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> don’t really know where this is going yet but i kinda do so hold in there. if anyone actually reads this and has any ideas feel free to comment some things about where i could take this story bc i thought it was a cool idea. thank u 
> 
> tumblr- casti-lel
> 
> *unedited*

p.

cold.  
that was a basic summary of phil’s feelings when he was stood in the middle of the train station. condensation from his breath came and dissipated as soon as it had appeared. he felt the sensation of someone crossing his grave, his thin jacket not doing much for him. why he decided it wasn’t going to be that cold that evening was mystery to him; as was the idea of travelling to the even colder location of scotland for a somewhat spontaneous holiday. five years and one and a half degrees into uni, and phil was yet to have an actual holiday. yes, he had visited his parents, and yes he had taken the odd train however many minutes out of london to see what surrounded him - but he had not had an actual holiday, for just him. which is why he stood there in the centre of the london subway, trying to figure out which direction to take to make it to his platform. phil was bad at directions at the best of times. so when he was put in a situation where he was freezing cold at 9pm at night and under the stress of locating a train that was destined to leave in the next 10 minutes, one can imagine his state of mind.

“left... no wait... platform 9? right... oh wait no it is left” phil mumbled to himself, looking back and forth between the platform numbers and the timetable with the ever ticking timer for his train.

“shit” phil blurted as he heard a train whistle signalling it’s impending descent, almost dropping his phone from  
his hand. phil wasn’t one to curse a lot, but he also wasn’t one to be late, so he felt the situation was fitting. he grabbed his suitcase, which had been sitting next to him patiently for the past 5 minutes and ran. phil also wasn’t one to run, especially with 12 kilo luggage, plus a 3 kilo backpack, holding him down. the click of his suitcase wheels and the smack of his thin souled shoes against the brick floor echoed throughout the empty station. empty, because who else was taking a train to edinburgh at 9.05pm on a tuesday night apart from phil?

smack

“ah, fuck, ow!”  
oh yeah nice going phil, way to run into literally the only other person in the station. damn that hurt...

“oh my god! i’m so sorry!” phil exclaimed trying to simultaneously make sure the stranger was okay while also moving toward his platform.

“fucking watch where you’re going mate”.  
phil stopped in his tracks. he was shocked to say the least. sure, he had ran into the man but the reaction he had received was completely uncalled for. the man rose to full height, which was to phil’s surprise quite tall, as few rose to the same height as he.  
and eye contact was made. the tall stranger gave off a demeanour that wasn’t quite cold, although his attitude provided otherwise. the weather seemed warm compared to the look he was being given by the guy. there was an edge of mystery to the man with the bad attitude, and phil didn’t know if he liked it or not. the first impression had him leaning toward the latter.

“it was an accident, there’s no need to be rude about it. i apologised” phil retorted, confusion and defensiveness etched into his voice. 

“just shove off, yeah? i don’t need pricks like you ruining my night” the stranger replied, grabbing the strap of his bag tight over his shoulder and pushing past phil to make his way to god knows where. 

“twat” phil whispered to himself as the mystery man walked away in a hurry. it’s always the cute ones that disappoint the most. 

phil turned around to pick up his phone, which he had somehow, yet not surprisingly, managed to drop in the heated disputation. when he went to face back toward his platform. the man was gone... thank god.

—

phil huffed as he pulled his luggage onto the train with 1 minute to spare, quite a record. he was sure his face was as red as his skin was white, no doubt due to his lack of exercise. his excuse to his mum had always been that he couldn’t afford gym membership. her retort was usually along the lines of that he didn’t need a gym when he had the entirety of london to run around. valid as that point be, phil would never admit that to his mum, and would just argue back with indistinguishable sounds.

back to reality, phil noticed the crew member in bright red lipstick standing to his side, with a slightly concerned, but mostly judgemental look on her face.

“sir? are you alright? have you got your ticket?” the woman spoke, talking in the queen’s english. not unlike the man phil had run into prior, he realised. 

“yes... yes i’m fine... and yes i do...” phil puffed out, still trying to catch his breath between words, pulling his ticket out his pocket and handing it to the lady.

“ah... yes mr. lester. we have been waiting for you... you have booked a sleeping carriage yes? just this way” she stated, not actually giving phil any chance to say anything. before phil could get in a word, the crew lady had turned around and started trotting down the carriage.

wordlessly, not that he had much choice in that, phil followed the fast paced lady down the carriage. by the time they had passed through 2 carriages of surprisingly full seats the woman spoke up from the silence that surrounded them.

“now mr lester,” she spoke as they started to make their way to the sleeping carriages “due to full bookings from previous stops, and your lateness in arrival, there has been a slight seating issue”.

the narrow passageway seemed to become narrower, phil’s heart skipping a beat.  
‘is she suggesting a shared room? between me and someone else?’  
phil’s internal monologue haunted him, the thought of having to spend an entire night in the same cramped room as a stranger looming in his head as he formulated a response.

“i am not sure how long your roommate will be remaining on the train for, but we apologise for this inconvenience” the lady added, unintentionally interrupting phil’s almost question, but nonetheless answering it.

a roommate. carriage mate? either way, another person. all phil wanted to do was wash away the effects of his late night coffee with a few hours spent watching whatever crap he could find on netflix in his own silence and presence. now he had to share it with another. phil did not want this at all, but he was generally a nice person and didn’t want to complain. especially since the lady was probably the same lady who would be near his food. ahead he realised that the lady had stopped and put her hand on a dodgy looking door knob, the number 14 nailed above it. her eyes looked expectantly at him, waiting for the response she wanted.

“oh... okay that should be fine i suppose...” phil stammered, crumbling under the gaze of this woman.

phil received a toothy smile from the lady, one that he was sure was fake, but was convincing nonetheless. the gap between her two front teeth was highlighted by a smear of her red lipstick which had gone astray.

“oh that’s great” she replied, almost hissing between words. her hand twisted on the door knob she was holding, opening it in a swift movement. 

“mr who-elle? your roommate has arrived”

phil began to move toward the door, nodding his head down as he came close to the small door way. but then he heard the voice that he didn’t even need to look up to recognise. phil didn’t want to believe that a coincidence like this would happen to him. yes, the universe seemed to have an affinity with putting him in awkward social situations, but this would just be too much. but when phil raised his head back up to eye level his fears were confirmed

“it’s howel-“

the no-longer-mystery man, howell, stopped mid sentence when he saw phil. confusion crossed through his eyes, before letting all emotion slack from his face, leaving a blank canvas. a silence blanketed the two men, a staring contest presented itself to see which could present themselves as the most emotionally void. 

“my apologies sir. mr lester, you may store your bag in the cupboard just outside her-“

“is there anywhere else i can go?” phil interrupted. he was not spending his night with the man who had verbally abused him a mere 10 minutes ago. the crew lady look quite taken aback, but regained herself almost immediately, plastering on her fake smile once again.

“there may be a few regular seats available, but they would not encompass your luggage and you paid for a bed. we do not provide refunds mr lester”

“of course you don’t” mumbled phil under his breath so only he could hear. she was right. he paid for this seat, and he was nowhere near financially stable enough to just throw away the extra money he had spent. he can’t speak for the man across from him though...

“what about him then? he can’t leave either?” phil snapped bitterly. his own rudeness shocked him, as well as howell and the crew lady. how could god hate him this much as to put him in this situation. 

“excuse you, but i also paid for this seat. i’m not going anywhere” howell sneered back, leaving the crew lady with an expression of confusion and shock. the glare that phil was receiving from this man, who couldn’t have been older than 20, was so full of resentment that phil’s reciprocated glare almost faltered.

“okay,” the lady interrupted, clearly unsure of what was ensuing, “all sleeping rooms have been exhausted, this is the only one left where there is less than two people”  
phil’s stomach dropped. 

“i can inform you when a room opens up if you would like, although it is unlikely as most people won’t be getting off at 1am, especially not ones with a room booked”

silence for what seemed like the 10th time ensued. phil could wait for another room to open up, it’s not like he was going to be sleeping anytime soon anyway. phil broke eye contact from the man, who was also clearly now deep in thought, the cogs behind his eyes whirring at what to do. this howell guy would probably go to sleep soon anyway. phil could do this for a few hours. he has done harder and been trough worse social situations. or has he?

“...fine” phil spoke hardly above a whisper.  
“fine” howell retorted, as if it was a competition.

this was going to be a long night.


	2. HOUR 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back again, okay so i laid out a base for the story and i kinda know where it’s going now. pls leave a kudos if you liked it, and feel free to leave constructive criticism. i would really appreciate it. ps sorry for any typos i’m sleep deprived and i can’t type on my phone.
> 
> AND it’s kinda short but i want to make the chapters longer without adding pointless bs, so bare with me
> 
> tumblr - casti-lel 
> 
> *unedited*

p.

“you think it would be fucking warmer on the train...”  
phil looked up from his lap, where he had been twiddling his fingers in dead silence for the past 30 minutes. howell wasn’t looking at him. he was staring out the window, emptily watching the repetitive scenery pass. he had one headphone in his ear and his phone in his hand. not even a couple feet separated phil and the man that now refused to look him in his eye. 

the room itself was tiny, and probably not made for two strangers over 6’2. it amassed to about 2 cubic metres, with two seats sitting opposite one another, which were somehow supposed to become beds. the beige coloured paint was crumbling off the wall’s edges, so much so that one could scratch most of it off with a fingernail. 

silence was one thing that phil had grown used to living alone. it was a luxury he allowed himself, most people just opting for a roommate to split the rent. not that phil hadn’t tried to find a roommate, it was just that everyone he found was either a drug addict, frat boy-esque or would invade much too far into his personal space. in the end, phil just accepted that he was far too introverted to spend all his time with someone else. this did though mean that phil had less money than the average joe, as well as being a university student in london not doing him any favours. his job paid well enough, letting him pay for food and rent, as well as leaving a few dollars left over to go toward his tuition. hence why he was yet to have a proper holiday. somehow he had managed to scrape in some extra coins from working over time and skipping a few meals only to escape to edinburgh of all places. phil was beginning to regret not waiting until the summer to go on his trip. and it was still really cold in the train.

phil remained silent, looking at howell blankly, wondering why he was trying to make any form of conversation. no doubt the man felt phil’s gaze on him, but his face remained locked in focus on literally nothing for another 10 seconds.

“what?” howell turned to face phil exasperated, and possibly, phil thought, slightly embarrassed... this is a development.

“what do you mean what? you verbally abuse me and now you want to talk about the weather?” phil snapped at him. phil continued to surprise himself by his harshness, not really sure as to why he was being so vocal about his opinions toward the man. if this were any other situation, phil was sure he wouldn’t be this forward.

howell narrowed his eyes at phil in initial response. it was almost as though he was lost for words. ‘good’ thought phil, retreating his sight back to his twiddling fingers.

maybe, phil thought, if they just managed to maintain the silence for the whole ride it would be alright. phil had an ability to ignore things he didn’t want to confront, such as his assignments that stayed stacked for at least a week before their due date. it’s not that he didn’t want to rid the room of the tension, it’s just that he didn’t know how. perhaps it would just be easier to suffer through it and just pray that his actual destination was better than the trip there.

 

“...sorry” howell mumbled.

or not.

phil looked up in shock. at least 5 minutes must have past. did he hear wrong? was he getting an apology? phil looked at the man across from him with wide doe eyes and raised eyebrows.

“jesus,” breathed howell, pulling his headphone from his ear, clenching his fists on his thigh and moving to look at phil again, “you really do stare a lot don’t you?”

it was phil’s turn this time to be left speechless, unintentionally letting a small blush cover his cheeks. he remained staring, this time actually achieving eye contact.

“i’m sorry, okay?” howell said again after a few seconds, now reciprocating the blush from phil’s face “i’m just having a bad night... and if you’re going to keep staring like that i might as well go sleep outside on the floor”

phil cut off his stare with a huff. he didn’t know how to respond. how do you respond to that? was he just meant to refuse the man forgiveness, or welcome him with open arms? neither sounded too appealing. phil had to find a middle ground, he had to be he better man. if he didn’t then the next 5/6 hours would be some of the most awkward of his life, and that’s saying something considering his track record for being socially inept.

“no... you don’t have to do that...” phil almost regret the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. how does he do this without being awkward?  
“it’s okay... don’t worry about it, you’re just a kid”

was that good? phil was never the best at confrontation, again linking back to his socially awkward tendencies.

phil let out a silent breath he didn’t know he was holding when howell let a tiny smile appear. it was barely noticeable, but a hint of a dimple creased his cheek. phil couldn’t hold back his own little smile. dimples got him every time.

“okay” replied howell, his tone of voice and presence already different. less distant.

“okay,” responded phil, silently rejoicing that the tension in the room was dissipating by the second. maybe this trip didn’t have to be mind boggingly tense. it took a second before something suddenly occurred to him,  
“what was your name anyway?”

a moment of hesitation passed as the man, opened and closed his mouth before answering,

“dan. my name is dan”


End file.
